Tag Archives: family

Since the trailer went live…

hi,

this has been a crazy week for me, finished the film, had it shown at the BFI, the cinema of my dreams, had phone calls and talks about screenings and now, having just checked, i have had 858 plays of my trailer in 3 days! so exciting and I was posted on

Mombian » Blog Archive » Raising Hell: The Children of Lesbian and

By Dana
Now comes word of Raising Hell, a half-hour documentary by Ed Webb-Ingall that profiles the experiences of the young adult and adult children of lesbian and gay parents in the U.K., starting back in the late 1960’s.
Mombian – http://www.mombian.com/

which was really sweet, I am hoping to have more blog posts and news of screenings soon, so watch this space and please do repsost my trailer wherever you can…


synopsis

i was asked to write a synopsis for my film for its first up coming screening – I cant wait for y’all to see it!
watch this space for trailer:

This half hour documentary profiles the experiences of the children of Lesbian and Gay parents in the UK aged 12 to 35, exploring themes of School, Gender, Sexuality, Prejudice and what the word Family means. Set alongside an examination of the rich history of Lesbian and Gay parents from the late 1960s to the present day this film at once normalises and elaborates on the unshared and unheard experiences of the children of Lesbian and Gay parents

from observer: New surrogacy law eases the way for gay men to become legal parents

Gay male couples will be able to use a fast-track route to become the legal parents of surrogate children from next week. On 6 April, changes to the law will permit two men to be named as parents on a child’s birth certificate for the first time in British history.

The transition will take effect following the implementation of the final piece of the 2008 Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act. This last section is aimed at helping same-sex and unmarried couples who seek to have surrogate children and will allow them to secure legal parenthood in a new, simplified manner. At present, only married, heterosexual couples can use this route.

“These changes bring the law up to date with the realities of modern 21st-century life and recognise that increasing numbers of same-sex and unmarried couples are having children together,” said Natalie Gamble, of the fertility law firm Gamble and Ghevaert.

Surrogacy has become increasingly common and offers couples an alternative route to parenthood if all other methods, including IVF treatments, fail. Current legislation allows heterosexual, married couples to get a parental order to give them a birth certificate for a child born to a mother with whom they have entered into a surrogacy agreement. But gay, lesbian and unmarried couples cannot do this. The surrogate mother has to be named on the birth certificate. If she is married, her husband is legally considered to be the father.

An example is provided by the story of Steven Ponder and his partner, Ivan Sigston. Both are police officers. Last year, they became one of the first gay couples to father a baby in Britain when Ponder’s married sister, Lorna Bradley, gave birth to a boy, William.

Crucially, however, Lorna Bradley’s name appeared on the birth certificate, which made her a legal guardian of the child. Ponder and Sigston could have applied to adopt the baby. If successful, they would have been given an adoption certificate to replace his original birth certificate. But adoption is complex and involves the intervention of social workers and other professional groups.

The new system is far more streamlined. Provided that a court is satisfied that two men are in a stable relationship; that no fees, other than expenses, are paid to the surrogate mother; and that it is in the child’s best interest, then it will award a parental order for a birth certificate to be drawn up with both men named as parents, and therefore legal guardians. “Lesbian couples and unmarried couples usually have other routes available to them if they want to have children, but surrogacy is particularly important to gay men, so they will get most out of this change in legislation,” said Gamble.In effect, the law has now opened the doors in order to make it easy for a gay man and his partner to have children.

This point was backed by Ben Summerskill, chief executive of Stonewall, the gay rights campaign group: “We are delighted that the reality of people’s family lives is being recognised at last, that both lesbian and gay couples no longer have to go through the unpleasantness of an adoption procedure.”

Gamble warned, however, that while the new legislation would make it easier for gay couples to have children, the rules governing surrogacy in the UK remained badly out of date.

“There are particular pitfalls for single parents and those going abroad. In the latter case, a couple returning to England with a surrogate child find that the law does not recognise their right to parenthood. It can cause immense distress. There are a lot of aspects of surrogacy that now need to be addressed urgently.”

coming out to kids

advice from the guardian: discuss

How do I tell my children that I am gay?
I am a middle-aged woman who ­divorced several years ago and have two children, aged 14 and 11. One reason for the split with their father, other than issues with his behaviour, was that I had to come to terms with the fact that I am gay. But discussing this with the kids has become a sticking point. In spite of good intentions, of inclusion policies and acceptance of minorities, the word “gay” is still hurled as an insult at school. To move forward with my kids, and perhaps find a partner and at last do something true to myself, I need to tackle this head on. Most gay women either have young children born into a gay family, or none at all. I have drawn a blank looking for advice. Susan, via email

Unless you have brought them up to be incredibly intolerant and closed-minded, your children may surprise you. It’s natural that you feel ­nervous, but I also think you are projecting a lot on to them. Maybe you were brought up in a household where being ­homosexual wouldn’t have been tolerated? But they are a new generation and while I’m not pretending it’s easy to come out, whatever your age, it’s important to remember that it’s your children, not your parents, you’ll be talking to.

I had a good chat with someone from the Lesbian and Gay Foundation (lgf.org.uk, 0845 3303030 – do look on the website, where there are real-life stories about coming out that you may want to read. A quarter of the calls the LGF receives are about coming out). Please think about ringing the helpline – there are skilled people who can talk you through your worries and can even help with role play – taking the role of your ­children – so you can practise what you might want to say. I think this would be a ­really good idea for you, as you’ve probably never vocalised what you want to say and the language you use is important. You don’t want to say “I think I’m gay”, for instance; this will just confuse your children. The helpline can also help you with that ­all-important opener.

It’s with advice from the LGF that I make these suggestions for when the time comes to tell your children.

First: tell them in a quiet, confidential place, such as your home. Make sure you have plenty of time to talk – don’t do it when you know you or they have to be somewhere else, or if there’s a time constraint. Be prepared to listen to their worries. Decide exactly what you want to tell them, and how much. They may ask, for example, if you’ve had sex with another woman yet; ­decide in advance how much you want to divulge, so that you are prepared. Also, be prepared to accept that they may want to discuss it with other ­people. Make it clear to them that they can ask questions at any time in the future. Be aware that this will be an ongoing ­conversation. They may also ask if this has anything to do with their father, so it’s important to stress that your sexuality is yours, ie it wasn’t caused by him or by being married. Tell them that if they want to talk to anyone neutral they can ring ChildLine (childline.org.uk, 0800 1111).

The other thing to remember is that while you may have had some years to get used to the fact that you are gay, it could come as a great shock to them (or it may not, and they may have guessed – either way your confirmation may be shocking for them). So what they say immediately may not be how they feel when the news has been digested.

Remember, too, that children can take things literally. Remind them that nothing else has changed, that no ­matter what happens they will ­continue to live with you and that you love them.

They will take the lead from you – if you start crying when you tell them, and are too emotional, they will think that is the response required. Be calm and ­confident and don’t be apologetic. This isn’t something to be sorry for. You’re telling them you’re gay, not a mass murderer. That said, you can say “I’m sorry if this is a shock” or “I’m sorry you feel that way” if they react badly – but don’t be tempted to just say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” in a ­random fashion. Be strong – they’ll need to know that you can handle it.

breakthrough

Today finally felt like the first day of the new year to me, my horrid illness had lifted, I had a great meeting about another film project I am working on, I found out 2 short films I produced showed last weekend at The London Short Film Festival – Pigeon and You and Your Sister and best of all I started work on the film again, we digitised everything and watched it through and made a schedule and I feel much happier with the stuff we have and how to use it, really exciting – I have a Plan – plans make me happy, its the producer in me I guess.

I also have one more exciting interview lined up which I am really looking forward to and I am meeting up with the wonderful Nick Abrahams to talk about filming some super 8mm stuff for me – so yes, its all go. Thanks for sticking by this and reading… phew…

time to get on with it

after some much needed time to reflect i am ready to move on with things – i have been playing with ideas about adding texture and injecting some energy and reading lots and watching lots, so hopefully by some kind of osmosis this will pay off and i will make some thing good….

i got good christmas reading which will help move things along hopefully

Family Familiar

Today was another busy one, but very satisfying, I went and worked my day job in the morning and then came home and had lunch with my housemate and the baby, which was great as it took my mind of film things and gave me some space and then I spent an hour listening through the interview with Susan Golombok making notes and taking down the timecode, I have now really focused my themes which I am really excited about. I then braved the snow and went to Stevenage to visit my sister and interview her, not before feeding and putting the nieces to bed. It was so great to talk with my sister and hear her side, its exciting that this film about family is making my family closer – not to sound too sucky or anything… the interview went well and she was very good and to the point – I also got some lovely pictures from another interviewee today that are jsut perfect and I am looking forward to playing with them tomorrow as I spend the day with Dettie working on our film festival submission, I am excited to see what we worked on on Tuesday and to move forward….

Right, time to go to sleep at a reasonable hour….